Job Advertisment to work in Kids Ministry!

[Funny Man Dan]

Hello you fine looking people.

I would love to get a collection of what you would sum up as a Job Advertisement to work in Kids Ministry!

What would it be:
* Must have a collection of shirts that all can be ruined by being slimed.
* Sense of humour is not mandatory, but you won't survive without it
* Must know how to read......... as much as your children anyway
* Must be willing to work for a boss that never leaves you alone, yet is never seen (now I am getting deep)

So if you have a bunch or a few or even half of one (I don't know how that would work) post them now and share them with us all. I am excited to see the different range of perspective from you obviously awesome people.

Have Fun

FMD

[Sam Luce]

*Must have one piece of apparel with talking veggie on it.
*Must know the significance of a Blue Song Book, a singing computer and a green bear.
*Must be able to make crying kids laugh and laughing kids cry
*Must be able to come up with 10 games from 1 piece of toilet paper.

*Most importantly understand that what we do we do for God and that the applause of heaven is so much greater than the thanks of men.

[Michael Chanley]

This conversation is too much fun to not be featured!

[Tom Reusch]

*Must be willing to smile and nod at angry parents when a nice strong hand-hug around their neck would feel so much better.
*Must be willing to be uncool, because 5th graders will undoubtedly think your lame.
*Must be willing to sit in a kiddie pool filled with liquids and goops that God didn't necessarily create.
*Must remember that 'knucks' are 75% more healthy than high fives.
*Should be able to turn any of the 5,000 hymns into a crazy song with jumping and spinning and keep it reverent at the same time.
*Being able to stick to the plan when all your leaders in the back are trying to trip you up with funny faces is a plus.
*Should have more uses for foam pool noodles OUTSIDE of a pool than INSIDE a pool.

[Bethany Walkom]

*must be willing to climb over/under/through an overstocked storeroom to find the prop "that's in there somewhere"
*must be willing to treated like a chair/play equipment
*must be willing to laugh when all plans go out the window
*must have 50 back-up plans for every contingency
*must be have a great memory for trivial details- (pets names, friends b'day parties, favourite colour etc.)

*must posses the ability to both quiet a child from talking at an inappropriate time, but make them feel cherised and loved always
*must never lose sight of the fact that any one of these kids could change the world some day

[densie germroth]

must be able to keep 15 three year olds busy and HAPPY when church should of been over 30 minutes ago. must not be bothered by cute little noses with lots green stuff being wiped on your skirt. Must enjoy an ocasional bite of a soggy graham cracker!
I just love my little guys snot and all!!!

[Jessica Waszak]

* must be willing to give and receive hugs containing any random substance...slobber, melted chocolate, cheese, other things that look like chocolate... you get the idea ;)

love rachel's " Must be versed in all current trends, able to hold 'intelligent' conversations on Ben Ten and Barbie at a moments notice and at times similtaneously"

Tom's "Must be willing to accept the blame for not being a good parent...to other peoples kids...from their parents."

[Sarah]

* must be able "wing it" at a moment's notice when one or more volunteers forgets to show up
* must not succumb to the pressure of 6th graders who will, without fail, convince their parents they need to go ahead and move to jr. hi who will then try incessantly to convince you of the same
* will need an incredible memory for details as a crowd approaches both before and after services telling you all kinds of important info (I'm almost to the point of laying out a notebook or laptop and saying "write it down!")
* must be willing to do an aerobic workout in front of all children and adults as you sing "Get Down"
* will need to perfect the art of remembering returning guests by name or else feel really dorky when they say "you met me last week!"
* must be able to organize a complete program with incomplete funding
* understand that you will pretty much only know church members who have children - if you were to venture out of your area you'd see a slew of faces you didn't know existed!

[Melanie K Presta]

OK, Sarah, I am so going to steal your notebook idea! That is so me!

I also have pockets full of all sorts of things by the end of the morning!

Sarah said:

* must be able "wing it" at a moment's notice when one or more volunteers forgets to show up
* must not succumb to the pressure of 6th graders who will, without fail, convince their parents they need to go ahead and move to jr. hi who will then try incessantly to convince you of the same
* will need an incredible memory for details as a crowd approaches both before and after services telling you all kinds of important info (I'm almost to the point of laying out a notebook or laptop and saying "write it down!")
* must be willing to do an aerobic workout in front of all children and adults as you sing "Get Down"
* will need to perfect the art of remembering returning guests by name or else feel really dorky when they say "you met me last week!"
* must be able to organize a complete program with incomplete funding
* understand that you will pretty much only know church members who have children - if you were to venture out of your area you'd see a slew of faces you didn't know existed!

[Tony Kummer]

* Able to recite the books of the Bible from memory
* Attend 3 birthday parties every Saturday
* Coach every junior sport available in your town
* Admit you still pick your nose
* Able to turn all your mistakes into a funny story
* Dominate in freeze tag
* Willing to give up "knock-knock" for "Chuck Norris" jokes
* Able to tolerate bright yellow & orange walls in your office
* Breath mints ... really, kids will call you out for dog breath

[David]

"Must know how to turn "Jesus is not my Friend when I poop my pants" into a teachable moment."
"Must acknowledge that soda straws stuck into each nostril should not be later shared for drinking."
"Must stand firm in teaching that "belch-talking" is not "speaking in tongues."
"Must be flexible enough to allow "Doonerharmony" to count as "Deuteronomy."
"Must be sensitive enough to know that "Will I still have these buck teeth in heaven?" is a golden opportunity."
"Must act like you know exactly what cute little animal the child has drawn even if you don't have a clue as to what the hideous looking monster is."
"Must know that you are to make tomorrow's leaders using yesterday's stuff."
"Must always remeber that we are leading the chidlren to Jesus and not to us."

[Kate]

*Must have the lyrics & movements to at least 20 songs down pat.
*Must be able to divert the 4 year olds attention when the 5s leave the room for promotion.
*Must be able to return the marble, hair clip, rubberband, toy soldier and marker to the rightful owners AFTER service.
*Must know where the good snacks are hidden.
*Must know where to walk kid's when parents are just around the corner.
*Must be able to fit in with the adults & kids all at the same time.
*Must be willing to be stretched beyond anything you had imagined.
*Must be flexible!
*Must tell each child they are beautiful/handsome (even when hair is a mop or snot is running rapid)
*Must love each child for who God made them to be.
*Must NEVER grow up!

And about the notebook idea Sarah & Melanie...one of my volunteers bought one and presented it to me this last week. It's AWESOME!

[Funny Man Dan]

Kate, David, Tony, Melanie, Sarah, Jessica, Densie, Bethany, Tom (again –you so cool!) FMS, Cliffinator and Sarah T you guys are awesome. I am coming to hang out with your ministry (because it seems like so much fun).

You inspired me, I am going again.

• Must be able to have 63 conversations at once with children that mostly consist of “wow that’s great” “Yes, I can see you” “no, you can eat that yourself”
• Must be willing to regularly visit the world where “Time” and “Control” is an oxymoron.
• Must be willing to skip a breakfast, lunch or dinner, or two and get by on a small packet of chips (or what else you find in the storeroom)
• Must be willing to keep a performance going even though the barrel that you are standing on has just collapsed taking you down with it (true story)

Keep Having Fun

FMD