Communicating with Children - Part 2 VOCABULARY

[Michael Chanley]

This is part 2 in a series on communicating effectively with our children.

As a parent, one of the toughest challenges is to communicate effectively to the many children in our lives. For that matter, it is one of the major challenges of any family. Communication is hard work.

While some adults have no problem relating, there are many individuals who, whether by intimidation or a fear of rejection, are unable to connect or relate to the kids in their community. Some struggle even to connect with their own children.

In this five part series, we will address some ideas on how to truly connect in communicating to children. I hope you find these ideas to be valuable tools in relating to and teaching your family.



Step two:
VOCABULARY

My five year old came to the breakfast table the other morning, sniffled her nose, and said, "Daddy, Bob didn't work last night."

"Huh?" I responded. "Who is Bob?" I had no idea what she was talking about.

"You know, Bob... the thingy mommy put in my room to make my head feel better."

I was still a little confused, tilted my head, reached for my coffee, and looked at my wife for some help.

Bob, it turns out, is the name our caboose has lovingly given the dehumidifier. Yep... the dehumidifier has a name. Just pause and think about that for a second. Amazing? ha.

Eden is only five years old. At such a young age, her brain is still rapidly developing. She is learning new words and the context for using them at a harried pace. It's really incredible! What she doesn't yet possess is the ability to master big long multi-syllable words. Case in point: dehumidifier. So, she just calls it: "Bob." It's cute and it's creative and it magically is supposed to make her nose work better.

Talking to children often means we have to make an effort to use words they understand. If you are looking them in the face, see previous post on Posture, you should be able to see the confusion in their facial expressions when you are not making any sense. If you are talking and they get that glazed over “what are you talking about look?” Try repeating your point in simpler terms. Instead of using words like “disobedience,” which most adults also struggle with (yes, you Mr. Texting while speeding), try saying "not obedient" or "you did not obey." Of course context will determine this; and, you shouldn't avoid bigger words... just be aware that, even with teenagers, it is possible a word you use commonly only confounds them and adds to the communication barrier.

Often, taking a moment to restate the message with smaller words, or in a more concise manner, will help it to sink in. Be flexible with your words and understand that you have had years of education and experience to develop your vocabulary. As you restate confusing terms it will help you to communicate more effectively and it teaches the context and true meaning of the word. You and your child win!

Please feel free to share any of your confusing-word moments as a parent. Have your kids ever tried to use a word they didn't know or that was out of context?

More to come... Part 3 gets a little more personal.


You can also connect with me at:

CMConnect

Facebook

Twitter